so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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