Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
