Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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