I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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