I wanna passion pit in your ass
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
my nose is crying tears of wow.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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