i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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