i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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