he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
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I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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