Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall

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  (269) 3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall http://tfl.nu/8qr4
  Replies (7) Good night (986) Bad night (2076)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized

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  (602): well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized http://tfl.nu/19cr
  Replies (12) Good night (605) Bad night (1259)
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  (805): View more from California

  i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.

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  (805): i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog. http://tfl.nu/tph4
  Replies (3) Good night (2242) Bad night (568)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.

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  (570): Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome. http://tfl.nu/qugg
  Replies (33) Good night (1807) Bad night (3006)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.

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  (914): Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase. http://tfl.nu/ryxu
  Replies (68) Good night (573) Bad night (4386)
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  (661): View more from California

  seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome

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  (661): seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome http://tfl.nu/g749
  Replies (19) Good night (617) Bad night (3037)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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  (203): i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room... http://tfl.nu/dscd
  Replies (17) Good night (681) Bad night (8099)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.

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  (803): She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient. http://tfl.nu/2q61
  Replies (22) Good night (5221) Bad night (1088)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

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  (412): Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/42ye
  Replies (6) Good night (4362) Bad night (1014)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.

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  (205): the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome. http://tfl.nu/nwqx
  Replies (13) Good night (2338) Bad night (1114)
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  (858): View more from California

  Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.

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  (858): Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in. http://tfl.nu/efr3
  Replies (12) Good night (4491) Bad night (978)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.

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  (360): There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it. http://tfl.nu/jy69
  Replies (21) Good night (2180) Bad night (574)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.

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  (505): I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single. http://tfl.nu/1f65
  Replies (10) Good night (1469) Bad night (408)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.

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  (403): I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover. http://tfl.nu/0ddb
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.

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  (616): Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila. http://tfl.nu/3l79
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (334)

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