so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
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This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid