You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
