i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Houston, we have a squirter
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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