Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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