come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
