Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
