I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
