U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
