I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize