Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
