I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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