Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He passed out mid-signature
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
