just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
