He is such a slut. More and more my type.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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