It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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