Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I want to be your penis for a week.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
