Don't EVER smell your tampon
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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