guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize