I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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