do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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