He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
