another moral hangover. fuck.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize