Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
