dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's never too late to be topless.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
