There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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