She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
