Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
