tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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