Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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