YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
