No stitches, just platelets and will power
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize