Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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