Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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