So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
