You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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