just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like abortions should bother me more
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize