Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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