I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
