He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
