she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
