you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ketchup is God's man juice
why do cheetos always look like penises
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
