Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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