I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
