i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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