it was like his penis was on wheels.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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