Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
