haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
