I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just had sex on a roof
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
