I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize