this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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