I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
