Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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