dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
